It’s a good-bye, so I hug her back, breathing in the tangerine shampoo that I will associate with her forever, remembering how we used to shower together in her tiny blue-tiled bathroom after days spent by the pool, and how in the beginning, when things still felt easy and right, holding her close like this – underwater, in the sunlight in the quietest nighttime hours – was the best feeling in my life.

— Nina LaCour

Nina LaCour Quotes

If I could stop dreaming up a deathbed scene where his hospital blankets are crisp over his stomach and his hands are holding mine. Where he says something like, See you on the other side, Sailor. Or, I love you, sweetheart. And a nurse touches my shoulder and tells me it’s over even though I can already see it by the peaceful stillness of him. Take your time, she says, so we just stay there, he and I, until the darkness falls and I am strong enough to leave the room without him.

— Nina LaCour

Close your eyes,” I say again. She closes them. I look at her. I wish her everything good. A friendly cab driver and short lines through security. A flight with no turbulence and an empty seat next to her. A beautiful Christmas. I wish her more happiness than can fit in a person. I wish her the kind of happiness that spills over. I place the bell into her open palms.

— Nina LaCour

She never spent money this way, always thought she’d wait until she had a real apartment, a reason to have nice things, but it struck her, standing in the store: Maybe this was it. Reason enough. Maybe she was in the middle of it already and just hadn’t realized.

— Nina LaCour

It was a summer of trying not to think too deeply. A summer of pretending that the end wasn’t coming. A summer when I got lost in time, when I rarely knew what day it was, rarely cared about the hour. A summer so bright and warm it made me believe the heat would linger, that there would always be more days, that blood on handkerchiefs was an exercise in stain removal and not a sign of oblivion.

— Nina LaCour

We all looked so beautiful.

— Nina LaCour

I feel like the night might last forever and I would be okay with that.

— Nina LaCour

But I know that there’s a difference between how I used to understand things and how I do now. I used to cry over a story and then close the book, and it all would be over. Now everything resonates, sticks like a splinter, festers.

— Nina LaCour

I know what it’s like to not want to understand.

— Nina LaCour

I feel alive with the truth.

— Nina LaCour

I’m trying to stay here with her in her happiness.

— Nina LaCour

Knowing that they’ll grow older as time passes, they’ll become old the way Gramps was, with gray hair and a tremble in his step, so much love still in their hearts – this astonishes me. I am capsized.

— Nina LaCour

But wherever in the world we live, something’s gonna get us in the end. Something gets us every time.

— Nina LaCour

What happened had broken us even if it wasn’t about us at all.

— Nina LaCour

She’ll still be herself and I’ll be learning who I am now.

— Nina LaCour

Sometimes it’s difficult,” he says, “to know the right thing to do.

— Nina LaCour

Because if we have any sense of self-preservation, we do the best with what we’re given.

— Nina LaCour

I guess she needs this – for us to move on – but it feels like another loss.

— Nina LaCour

To think that a girl who is practically a stranger could be the next person I love.

— Nina LaCour

There are degrees of obsession, of awareness, of grief, of insanity. Those days and nights in the motel room I weighed each of them against the other. I tried to make sense of what had happened, but each time I came up short. Each time I thought I may have understood, some line of logic snapped and I was thrust back into not knowing. It’s a dark place, not knowing.

— Nina LaCour

I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I’m afraid that cord of communion would snap. And then I’ve a notion that I’d take to bleeding inwardly.

— Nina LaCour
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