You didn’t hear me right. I didn’t say ‘a mug of poisoned tea’. I said ‘a poisoned mug of tea’. It was the handle I poisoned... Laken Cross, you are an evil man for coming here to kill me and you’re an evil man for forcing me to do what I had to do. I hope you burn in whatever hell you believe in. – Finbar.

— Derek Landy

Derek Landy Quotes

I’ve always found that ex-girlfriends with bodies are better than ex-girlfriends who are just internal organs locked away in a box somewhere. But I’m old-fashioned like that.

— Derek Landy

She wasn’t going to let the voice win today. She wasn’t going to let all those bad feelings come crashing down on her, like they had so many times in the past. She was getting better.

— Derek Landy

But you said he was OK. He murdered someone and you said he was OK.” Never scowled. “First of all, and I think this is important, that’s not the order in which those things occurred. I said he was OK, and then he murdered someone. But, due to recent events, I’ve obviously changed my mind about him.

— Derek Landy

Don’t act offended. You wear a bag on your head.

— Derek Landy

While I wouldn’t go so far as to say that you’re like a son to me, Omen, or a nephew, or even the nephew of a close family friend, I do, nevertheless, view you as a young person who has entered into my orbit and who I now must deal with.

— Derek Landy

Things happen, Valkyrie, but life carries on regardless of how we feel.

— Derek Landy

Skulduggery shrugged. “When in doubt, wear a hat, that’s what I always say.

— Derek Landy

Hail, Satan,” Valkyrie added, just to be in with the cool kids. “Midnight is almost upon us!” said the Master, summoning fire into his hand and passing it over the candelabrum, lighting each wick. “Why does this girl still live? Kill her! Deliver her soul to the Dark Lord!” “Voldemort?” Valkyrie asked, frowning. The.

— Derek Landy

By the way, dressing head to toe in black is not the best camouflage when you’re in the snow.” “Says the man in the navy-blue suit.” “Ah, but all I have to do is remove my hat and my head blends into the background.” “So then it looks like there’s a navy-blue suit running around on its own, which is way less suspicious.

— Derek Landy

You two would probably be the first to be killed,” Ravel said. Valkyrie stared. “What?” “Sorry, but it’s true. The amount of damage the pair of you have inflicted on anyone who’s crossed you over the past few years? They’re not going to take a chance on leaving you alive.” “He’s right,” Skulduggery said. “We’re just too good at our job.” “Damn it,” Valkyrie scowled. “I hate being too good at our job.

— Derek Landy

Exactly,” said Saracen. “Everyone would think I decided to specialise in this because I wanted to see through people’s clothes.” “Why did you specialise in it?” “I wanted to see through people’s clothes. I know, I know, but I was a teenager. I thought it’d be great. It’s not great. Not at all.

— Derek Landy

I was going right for Mantis, but then that bloody gas got in my eyes and, I don’t know, some massive bloke reared up in front of me. I hit him but I swear, it was like hitting a wall.” Gracious nodded. “You hit a wall.” Maybury blinked at him. “I what?” “I saw it. You ran into a cloud of gas and stumbled around for a second until you reached a wall, and then you shrieked and punched it. It was very heroic.

— Derek Landy

Excuse me,” said Skulduggery, “I hate to interrupt, but this conversation is boring me.” “Because it isn’t about you,” said Fletcher. “That is indeed why it’s boring.” “We’ll.

— Derek Landy

Are you a coward, Glen?” “Only when threatened.

— Derek Landy

We all go through tough times.” “My parents are trying to kill me.” “We all have issues.

— Derek Landy

There’s nothing more natural than dying from a knife to the neck. What would be unnatural is if he’d survived.

— Derek Landy

I planned all of this,” Skulduggery whispered. “Oh, shut up.

— Derek Landy

Amber stared at him. Glen started crying. It kind of ruined the moment.

— Derek Landy

Despite her worries, despite her anxiety, despite everything that had happened and everything she had done, Valkyrie looked down at Sergeant Yonder and found she still had the capacity to laugh at stupid people.

— Derek Landy

You’re not afraid of spiders, are you?” “I tend to get slightly arachnophobic when they’re three times the size of me.

— Derek Landy
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