It tasted like salt and failure. The bright red shame of being unloved soaked the grass in front of our house, the bricks of the path, the steps to the porch.
Now that I am grown, I think don’t take no for an answer is a lesson we teach boys who would be better off learning that no means no.
Telling this story will be painful. In fact, I do not know if I can tell it truthfully, though I’ll try. I have been a liar all my life, you see. It’s not uncommon in our family.
Sometimes things are fragile. That’s why they’re valuable.
I don’t even have my real face anymore, I don’t even know who I see in the mirror.
It’s joy,’ said Tipper. ‘I aim to live a joyful life, Carrie. And I think you should, too. I think maybe you’ve lost track of that, a little.
No one in this family can see what’s right in front of them.
We can argue about it in hell.
They’re doing just as I asked them to. As we Sinclairs always do. Pretending. Lying. Trying to have a good time.
Think of your happy memories. Know they are still in you. They are part of you. And maybe even they ARE you.
At least for today. Let’s pretend I’m not a mess, let’s pretend you’re not angry. Let’s act like we’re friends and forget what happened.
It’s better, I think, to move on. To look forward.
She would love herself, even with her sadness and her distractibility, her defenses and her failures. The process of making would stretch open the universe until it was frighteningly and gloriously wide with possibility.
I do not love my father’s way of thinking, but much of it has become mine.
WELCOME TO THE beautiful Sinclair family. No one is a criminal. No one is an addict. No one is a failure.
This is the only time I will ever tell, I say to myself.
He wants to make us think even when we don’t feel like thinking.
I don’t actually care what you think so it’s perfectly okay.
We burned not a home, but a symbol. We burned a symbol to the ground.
A game like that is typical for Tipper. She looks for ways to squeeze any last drop of pleasure from a situation, to create joy and surprise whenever she can.
I’m not sorry. For anything. At all.