Reyes,” she said, stars in her eyes. “He likes my cinnamon rolls.” “I can’t believe this. You’re cheating on me with Reyes? You’ve been making him your famous cinnamon rolls while I’ve been stuck in a hell dimension, longing for the ability to chew my toenails just for something to do?” Amber whisked by us. “And enchiladas. He loves her enchiladas.” “Cook!” The sting of a thousand traitorous daggers pierced my heart. “I’m telling Uncle Bob.

— Darynda Jones

Darynda Jones Quotes

Courage is knowing it might hurt and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same, and that’s why life is hard.

— Darynda Jones

I mean, seriously. A dungeon? Are we talking The Princess Bride or Fifty Shades?

— Darynda Jones

Could you add a side of vague to that?

— Darynda Jones

If your path demands that you walk through hell, walk as though you own the place.

— Darynda Jones

Sometimes, I shock myself with the smart things I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seatbelt on. – Bumper Sticker.

— Darynda Jones

Booze rarely talks, and when it does, it has nothing interesting to say.

— Darynda Jones

I’m not on the crazy train. Trains go fast. It’s more like a wagon. A long, slow ride on the crazy wagon. – MEME.

— Darynda Jones

Four out of five dentists agree: lying through your teeth does NOT count as flossing. – Meme.

— Darynda Jones

If overthinking situations burned calories I’d be dead. – Meme.

— Darynda Jones

Of course, I have flaws, but my boobs usually distract people from them. – T-shirt.

— Darynda Jones

Note to self. Prepare better when letting a man in a straitjacket cross.

— Darynda Jones

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. – STEPHEN WRIGHT.

— Darynda Jones

Men in black are at the office?” “Well, yes, but they’re actually in more of a navy.

— Darynda Jones

Don’t borrow trouble. Gotcha. So, then, can I rent it? – CHARLEY DAVIDSON.

— Darynda Jones

You’re plying me with your feminine wiles?” “Not at all. I left my feminine wiles in my other pants. And I very rarely ply in public.

— Darynda Jones

It got awkward, and then I made it worse somehow. – An autobiography.

— Darynda Jones

She looked deep inside herself, but not too deep as she was a little scared of heights.

— Darynda Jones

What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor. – Meme.

— Darynda Jones

I tried to start a gang once. It turned into a book club. – MEME.

— Darynda Jones

A man with more bandages than a six-year-old left alone in a doctor’s office stumbled past the front of the station. The two plodded through the snow.

— Darynda Jones
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