Growing independence, though, doesn’t have to mean growing separation. Humans were created to be relational beings. We may outgrow our dependency, but we never outgrow the need for community, interaction, appreciation, reassurance, and support.
The most powerful force on the planet is the soul that has awakened to its purpose.
Protecting our children from the cruelty of the world doesn’t mean shielding them from the realities of the world. Tell them the truth. Teach them to care. Give them a voice. Prepare them not to withstand the world, but to change the world.
If life is what we make it, let’s make it beautiful.
Children need to know that they matter, that someone in this big, scary, beautiful world thinks that they are the sun, moon, and stars all rolled into one lovable little human. The world will hurt and disillusion them at times, no doubt, but knowing that they are loved beyond measure by someone who’s got their back, knowing they are not alone, knowing they always have arms to run to when they’re hurt or afraid, will help them to pick themselves up and move on, again and again and again.
Healing old hurts can only begin when the children we once were feel safe enough to speak their hearts to the adults we are now.
People always say, “Choose your battles,” in parenting. Let’s choose peace, instead. After all, our children aren’t our enemies, and childhood shouldn’t be a battleground.
Focus more on who your child is than what your child does. Remember, you’re growing a person, not fixing a problem.
Music speaks the language of the soul, penetrating into the past and resonating into the future, unearthing pain and tenderness and sorrow and joy, reminding us of our infinite fragility and extraordinary strength, reigniting our dreams and passions once again to remind us of who we are meant to be.
Forget that old adage ‘forgive and forget.’ It’s an impossible standard. The human heart never forgets its pain. We can and often do choose to forgive and heal and move on. But the scars remain. Like words pounded out on an old typewriter leave impressions that can never truly be erased, the heart remembers.
Many believe that parenting is about controlling children’s behavior and training them to act like adults. I believe that parenting is about controlling my own behavior and acting like an adult myself. Children learn what they live and live what they learn.
It will take just one generation choosing gentle, compassionate, respectful parenting to change the world for all future generations. This is our time. Our chance is now. Let’s do our part to change the world, one little heart at a time.
The ultimate gift we can give the world is to grow our tiny humans into adult humans who are independent thinkers, compassionate doers, conscious questioners, radical innovators, and passionate peacemakers. Our world doesn’t need more adults who blindly serve the powerful because they’ve been trained to obey authority without question. Our world needs more adults who question and challenge and hold the powerful accountable.
Instant obedience and mindless compliance are poor goals, indeed, when raising children. A thoughtfully questioning, passionately curious, and humorously resourceful child who delights in inventing ‘compromises’ and who endlessly pushes the boundaries tends to become a thoughtful, passionate, resourceful adult who will change the world rather than being changed by the world.
The belief that children must be punished to learn better behaviors is illogical. Children learn to roll, crawl, walk, talk, read, and other complex behaviors without a need for punishment. Why, then, wouldn’t the same gentle guidance, support, and awareness of developmental capabilities that parents employ to help their little ones learn those complex skills also work to help them learn to pet the cat gently and draw on paper instead of walls?
At a time when politics and power decide who is important enough to be fed, to be safe, to be free, those of us who have a voice in this world must speak boldly, loudly, insistently for those who cannot speak for themselves.
True strength is forged in gentleness, guided by wisdom, and steeped in peace.
Growing children with an inner compass that guides their steps toward kindness and compassion and generosity of spirit is far, far and away superior to training children to operate on automatic pilot.
Parenting our children peacefully is a gift of peace to the world. Children learn what they live and live what they learn.
To need to be seen, to be heard, to be understood, is simply to be human.
Imagination reveals the possibilities beyond the edges of our reality.