Because I long to feel nothing. I want to be frozen inside. I want the icy cold to blow directly on my heart.
I’m not making trouble, Stuart. The trouble is already here.
Go ahead, Mother,” I finally mutter. “Say what you want to say.” “Don’t you let him cheapen you.” I look back at her, eye her suspiciously, even though she is so frail under the wool blanket. Sorry is the fool who ever underestimates my mother. “If Stuart doesn’t know how intelligent and kind I raised you to be, he can march straight on back to State Street.” She narrows her eyes out at the winter land. “Frankly, I don’t care much for Stuart. He doesn’t know how lucky he was to have you.
White people been representing colored opinion since the beginning a time.
Go to New York, Miss Skeeter. Go find your life.
So I started writing my prayers down instead a saying em. But no one called me smart since.
She cuts out biscuits with a shot glass that’s never shot a thing but short dough.
I am starting to notice things.
Even though she has zero kids and nothing to do all day, she is the laziest woman I’ve ever seen. Including my sister Doreena who never lifted a royal finger growing up because she had the heart defect that we later found out was a fly on the X-ray machine.
I understand now why girls resist, just for that sweet look of regret.
So many lies have been told, the room is thick with them.
Who knows, what I could become, if Leroy would stop goddamn hitting me.
That was the day my whole world went black. Air look black, sun look black. I laid up in bed and stared at the black walls a my house. Minny came ever day to make sure I was still breathing, feed me food to keep me living. Took three months fore I even look out the window, see if the world still there. I was surprise to see the world didn’t stop just cause my boy did.
Swore that death could not change this.
Then she say, “Aibee, you’re my real mama.” She don’t even look at me, just say it like she talking about the weather.
There is so much you don’t know about a person.
But this fella, he a old man. Got heavy wrinkled hands. Seventy years a worry done put so many lines in his face, he like a roadmap.
Maybe I ought to keep writing, not just for the paper, but something else, about all the people I know and the things I seen and done. Maybe I ain’t too old to start over, I think and I laugh and cry at the same time at this. Cause just last night I thought I was finished with everthing new.
Y’all think prayer’s going to keep white people from killing us?
For the dishonesty upon which a society is founded makes every emotion suspect, makes it impossible to know whether what flowed between two people was honest feeling or pity or pragmatism.
Half this stuff don’t have nothing to do with colored rights. Ain’t but day-to-day business.′ She eyes me up and down. ‘Look to me like you just writing life.