Spiritual fatherhood has nothing to do with power or control. It is a fatherhood of compassion. But the father of the prodigal son is not concerned about himself. His long-suffering life has emptied him of his desires to keep in control of things. Can I give without wanting anything in return, love without putting any conditions on my love?

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Henri J.M. Nouwen Quotes

We can allow ourselves to be found by God and healed by his love through the concrete and daily practice of trust and gratitude. Trust and gratitude are the disciplines for the conversion of the elder son. By telling myself that I am not important enough to be found, I amplify my self-complaint. I must totally disown my self-rejecting voice and claim the truth that God does indeed want to embrace me as much as he does my wayward brothers and sisters.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

It is through the way of the cross that Jesus gives glory to God, receives glory from God, and makes God’s glory known to us. The glory of the resurrection can never be separated from the glory of the cross. The risen Lord always shows us his wounds.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

We also need guides: spiritual friends, a spiritual director, or a spiritual accountability group that can function for us as a safe place to bear our souls.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Generosity is a giving that comes from the knowledge of an intimate bond. True generosity is acting on the truth – not on the feeling – that those I am asked to forgive are “kinfolk,” and belong to my family. And whenever I act this way, that truth will become more visible to me. Generosity creates the family it believes in.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

The movement of God’s Spirit is very gentle, very soft – and hidden. It does not seek attention. But that movement is also very persistent, strong and deep. It changes our hearts radically. The faithful discipline of prayer reveals to you that you are the blessed one and gives you the power to bless others.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

The unfathomable mystery of God is that God is a Lover who wants to be loved. The one who created us is waiting for our response to the love that gave us our being. God not only says: ‘You are my Beloved.’ God also asks: ‘Do you love me?’ and offers us countless chances to say ‘Yes.’ That is the spiritual life: the chance to say ‘Yes’ to our inner truth. The spiritual life, thus understood, radically changes everything.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Our brokenness is truly ours. Nobody else’s. Our brokenness is as unique as our chosenness and our blessedness. The way we are broken is as much an expression of our individuality as the way we are taken and blessed.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

I leave you with the image of the leader with outstretched hands, who chooses a life of downward mobility. It is the image of the praying leader, the vulnerable leader, and the trusting leader. May that image fill your hearts with hope, courage, and confidence as you anticipate the new century.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

All addictions make us slaves, but each time we confess openly our dependencies and express our trust that God can truly set us free, the source of our suffering becomes the source of our hope.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

It is by being awake to God in us that we can increasingly see God in the world around us.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Marriage is not that two people love each other so much that they can find God in each other, but that God loves them so much that they can discover each other as living reminders of God’s presence.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

God is looking for you. He will go anywhere to find you. He loves you, he wants you home, he cannot rest unless he has you with him.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

A way to rephrase “waiting patiently in expectation” is “standing vulnerable in the presence of our loving God.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

It is the place that confronts me with the fat that truly accepting love, forgiveness, and healing is often much harder than giving it. It is the place beyond earning, deserving, and rewarding. It is the place of surrender and complete trust.

— Henri J. M. Nouwen

Our lives are not problems to be solved but journeys to be taken with Jesus as our friend and finest guide.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Following Jesus means to let go of the “I” and move toward the “other.” Following Jesus means to dare to move out of ourselves and to slowly let go of building our “self” up.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

How much of our energy goes into defining ourselves by deciding “I am what I do,” “I am what others say about me,” or “I am what I have”? When that’s the case, life often follows a repetitive up-and-down motion.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Dear Lord, Be with me today. Listen to my confusion and help me know how to live it. I don’t know the words. I don’t know the way. Show me the way. You are a quiet God. Help me to listen to your voice in a noisy world. I want to be with you. I know you are peace. I know you are joy. Help me to be a peaceful and joyful person. These are the fruits of living close to you. Bring me close to you, dear Lord. AMEN.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

The goal of spiritual direction is spiritual formation – the ever-increasing capacity to live a spiritual life from the heart. A spiritual life cannot be formed without discipline, practice, and accountability.

— Henri J.M. Nouwen
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