It’s hard to give up the self-esteem connected to being codependent and appearing ‘right,’ which is probably a survival behavior learned from growing up in a crazy family. It feels like you will actually disappear.
Here’s another quirk some of us have. We’re able to demonstrate a lot of compassion for other people. We can understand why they did the things they did. But when we look in that mirror, we can’t seem to muster up any compassion, forgiveness, or understanding for ourselves.
Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free.
Our feelings don’t need to control us. Just because we’re angry, we don’t have to scream and hit. Just because we’re sad or depressed, we don’t have to lie in bed all day. Just because we’re scared, doesn’t mean we don’t apply for that job. I.
Cherish the hope that lies beneath the snow.
The spiritual space we’re trying to find and maintain in meditation practice is the sacred place in each of us.
Detachment involves “present moment living” – living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it.
We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.
We don’t have to be so afraid of people. They are just people like us.
It is time to stop this nonsense of running around picking on ourselves.
When will I learn to quit fighting lions?
We don’t learn about taking care of ourselves the way we learn math. Although information is useful and sometimes critical, self-care isn’t only an intellectual process. It’s our experiences that change us.
Some people strive to relinquish all expectations and live moment to moment. That is admirable. But I think the important idea here is to take responsibility for our expectations. Get them out into the light. Examine them. Talk about them. If they involve other people, talk to the people involved. Find out if they have similar expectations. See if they’re realistic.
Here’s an interesting phenomenon about gratitude: it’s difficult to feel too bad when we’re feeling grateful. Your mind has room for only one thought at a time. If you fill it with gratitude, there isn’t room for negativity.
Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.
Learn the words: “This is what I need from you. This is what I want from you.
An unexamined life isn’t worth living, or so they say. The problem with living up to other people’s expectations too much is that it doesn’t leave us time to have a life. Take a moment. Ask yourself this question, and don’t be afraid to look deeply: Are you allowing someone else’s expectations to control your life? Examine the expectations you’re living up to; then live by your own inner guide.
LOW SELF-WORTH Codependents.
All our experiences are rich colors that make a full life.
To believe in people, to believe in each person’s inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others.
When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled. We forfeit our power to think, feel, and act in accordance with our best interests. We frequently lose control of ourselves. Often, we are being controlled not just by people but by diseases such as alcoholism, eating disorders, and compulsive gambling.