Jesus, what a complicated process,” Venkat said. “Try updating a Linux server sometime,” Jack said. After a moment of silence, Tim said, “You know he was telling a joke, right? That was supposed to be funny.” “Oh,” said Venkat. “I’m a physics guy, not a computer guy.” “He’s not funny to computer guys, either.” “You’re a very unpleasant man, Tim,” Jack said.

— Andy Weir

Andy Weir Quotes

You’re a smart-ass, Tim,” Venkat said. “Noted.

— Andy Weir

Venkat pulled out his cell phone. “We lost contact with Pathfinder in 1997. If he can get it online again, we can communicate. It might just need the solar cells cleaned. Even if it’s got a bigger problem, he’s an engineer!” Dialing, he added, “Fixing things is his job!

— Andy Weir

It just feels nice to be an astronaut again. That’s all it is. Not a reluctant farmer, not an electrical engineer, not a long-haul trucker. An astronaut.

— Andy Weir

I’ve gone from “sole-surviving space explorer” to “guy with wacky new roommate.

— Andy Weir

We’ll keep you posted.

— Andy Weir

Why doesn’t Rosco just go to the Duke farm and arrest them when they’re not in the car?

— Andy Weir

Still, their well-maintained air shelter and regular fire drills had saved a lot of lives. Factories can be rebuilt. People can’t. It was a win.

— Andy Weir

Instead, I spent the day taking drugs and playing with radiation.

— Andy Weir

Watney snorted in their direction. Then he closed his eyes and felt the sun on his face. It was a nice, boring afternoon.

— Andy Weir

But, you know, other than that edge case, there’s no reason.

— Andy Weir

Then again, my students all have eyes and they were still amazed when I told them “x-rays,” “microwaves,” “Wi-Fi,” and “purple” were all just wavelengths of light.

— Andy Weir

What do you know? I’m in command. I wonder if this log will be recovered before the rest of the crew die of old age. I presume they got back to Earth all right. Guys, if you’re reading this: It wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to do. In your position I would have done the same thing. I don’t blame you, and I’m glad you survived.

— Andy Weir

I do have something flammable: my own hair. It’ll have to do. There’s a sharp knife in the tool kit. I’ll shave some arm hairs off into a little pile.

— Andy Weir

They were going back to Mars.

— Andy Weir

It’s a desert so old it’s literally rusting.

— Andy Weir

Seems odd that a species could invent interstellar travel before inventing the transistor, but hey, Earth invented nuclear power, television, and even did several space launches before the transistor.

— Andy Weir

The next major storm would cause the Great Martian Potato Migration.

— Andy Weir

Son las cosas sencillas de la vida las que importan.

— Andy Weir

I’m a well-honed machine in times of crisis.

— Andy Weir

I guess I should explain how Mars missions work, for any layman who may be reading this.

— Andy Weir
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