It’s easy being a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you.
There is two things that can disrupt business in this country. One is War, and the other is a meeting of the Federal Reserve Bank.
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time.
There is no argument in the world that carries the hatred that a relioious belief does. The more learned a man is, the less consideration he has for another man’s belief.
Asking Europe to disarm is like asking a man in Chicago to give up his life insurance.
You can take any line of business and skill and the ones who do it the best are the ones who get the most money for it.
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
President Coolidge said, ‘I don’t want the Government to go into business.’ Well, if I was Mr. Coolidge I wouldn’t worry over that. The Government never has been accused of being a business man.
You could transfer Congress over to run Standard Oil or General Motors, and they would have both things bankrupt in two years.
I am a great believer in high-priced people. If a thing cost a lot it may not be any better, but it adds a certain amount of class that the cheap thing can never approach; in the long run it’s the higher-priced things that are the cheapest.
If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk.
You could be the World’s greatest orator and if you don’t say anything while orating, they are going to walk out on you after a while.
I am always going to do my best, no matter where I am.
The farmers can be thankful. Didn’t the Farm Board decide in Washington last week that they could have cheaper interest? All the farmers have to do now is to find something new to put up as security.
I argue with wife over what little pieces of real estate investments we should try to pay on and hold, and which to let go back. We always said, “Put it in land, and you can always walk on it.” We did, but no buyers would walk on it with us.
It’s the greatest game I ever saw. You can’t lose. Everybody buys to sell and nobody buys to keep. What’s worrying me is who is going to be the last owner. It’s just like an auction; the only one stuck is the last one.
And if you call one a real estate agent and he won’t sell you anything. He is a REALATOR. It’s the same as what the old fashioned real estate agent used to be only the commission is different.
Every land or property owner in America would be tickled to death to pay 45 per cent of his profits, if he didn’t have to pay anything if he didn’t make it.
I go too fast to see much, only the tops of everything. I’ve got to prowl slow some time through this country.
His heritage to his children wasn’t words or possessions, but an unspoken treasure, the treasure of his example as a man and a father.