Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It’s literary suicide.
If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.
Hello there. I’m out social climbing, but if you leave your name and number and if you’re anybody, I’ll get back to you.
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
A small waist makes you tire easily.
I don’t think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.
My idea of ‘roughing it’ is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell.
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.
I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were ’room service.
Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy’s little boy becomes Mommy’s little boy, the kid is so wet he’s treading water.
A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.
The term ‘working mother’ is redundant.
A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
I lost everything in the post-natal depression.