I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. – Calvin.
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Girls are like slugs – they probably serve some purpose, but it’s hard to imagine what.
Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.
Why does man create? Is it man’s purpose on earth to express himself, to bring form to thought, and to discover meaning in experience? Or is it just something to do when he’s bored?
They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
Genius is never understood in its own time.
It’s going to be a grim day when the world is run by a generation that doesn’t know anything but what it’s seen on TV.
Calvin: Do you believe in the devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
Yeah, but actually, I’ve got the same questions about God.
I have all these great genes, but they’re recessive. That’s the problem here.
Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ’possum stuck in your collar?
If I had rolled along with the strip’s popularity and repeated myself for another five, 10 or 20 years, the people now ‘grieving’ for ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ would be wishing me dead.
I let my mind wander and it didn’t come back.
Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.
Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I’m doing is saying I can be bribed.
I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.