Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.
Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you’re sure there’s some jelly!
It was a dark and stormy night. – Snoopy.
If life were a camera, I’d have the lens cap on.
I think I’m afraid of being happy because whenever I get too happy something bad always happens.
Cartooning is preaching. And I think we have a right to do some preaching. I hate shallow humor. I hate shallow religious humor, I hate shallow sports humor, I hate shallowness of any kind.
I think they assign things to students which are way over their heads, which destroy your love of reading, rather than leading you to it. I don’t understand that. Gosh.
Lucy: You learn more when you lose Charlie Brown: Well then I must be the smartest person in world!!!
You try for a little happiness, and what do you get? A few memories and a fat stomach!
Life is too short not to live it up a little!
Do what is absolutely you and nobody else.
Brothers and sisters should never be in the same family.
Love makes you do strange things...
I can hear my heart beating. I can hear my stomach growling. I can hear my teeth grinding and my joints creaking. My body’s so noisy, I can’t sleep.
The term that best describes me now is ‘secular humanist.’
The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow!
What’s the sense in having an eclipse if you can’t look at it? Somebody in production sure slipped up this time!
Love is a letter on pink stationery.
I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I’ll be at the airport.
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
Sucking your thumb without a blanket is like eating a cone without ice cream!