I was eating a steak at a local restaurant last night, when a random woman said: “Y’know, you’d be much better off being a vegetarian.” “Are you crazy?” I said, “The cow was a vegetarian and look what happened to it!
Forget the National Debt Clock. We need an electronic billboard to track all the daily shootings in this country. I’m really sick of listening to all the mouth breathers who soil their camouflage pants every time someone suggests we might have a gun problem. Other countries have crazy, violent people. What they don’t have is 300,000,000 WMDs and a gun show loophole that allows any psycho with a valid credit card to own ’em.
Tolerance is NOT acceptance. And that’s the problem with ALL religion. It teaches acceptance only for those who believe exactly as you do, and at best, tolerance for the rest of us “sinners.” Sorry. Not acceptable.
Before you’re allowed to own a .44, your IQ should be higher than .44.
Forget ‘pray the gay away.’ I you’re more turned on by an AR-15 than a pair of tits, time for some serious therapy. Time for all you gun-humpers to come out of the closet. Is this really about the 2nd Amendment and self-defense – or just a pathetic fetish for guys with tiny pee-pees?
Remember: Guns don’t kill! – The dimwits who insist EVERYONE should have the right to own ’em do!
The muse is fickle; ergo, when she knocks, ANSWER! It may take a while, but trust me, she WILL knock. In the meantime, keep your ear pressed firmly to the door.
Time heals all wounds; some broken hearts – and most cases of writer’s block.
I’m not frightened by the advent of intelligent machines. It’s the sarcastic ones that worry me.
I don’t mind being a team player. I’m just tired of being the soccer ball.
What’s this business about the ‘little man in the canoe?’ If it’s big enough for a canoe, it’s too big for me.
A woman on an online dating site asked if I’d ever had an STD. I told her my high school prom date was named ‘Chlamydia.
I’m tired of being told it’s elitist to call stupid behavior stupid. Remember when you were just a tot and thought it might be a good idea to stick your wee-wee in the electrical socket? Hopefully, you hade a mom who kicked you in the behind and called you stupid. There are times when mincing words and pleasant euphemisms simply don’t cut it. Sometimes, you need to call stupid by its given name.
Money can buy a shitload of happiness – just nothing you can’t ever live without.
To all you who believe we shouldn’t have a minimum wage – that the minimum amount you can be paid should be determined solely by your employer. We tried it once before: it was called SLAVERY.
Stop praying. Get off your knees and do something. There’s only one particular need that can be effectively addressed while in the kneeling position. If yours pertains to anything else, then please, seek help elsewhere. ‘God helps those who help themselves’ is just the Church’s way of telling you that it’s all a sham. You’re really on your own.
Arguing that the only problem with a free market is lack of competition, is like arguing that that the only problem with prostitution is that there aren’t enough pimps.
The difference between an atheist and a person of faith? One additional religion in the crazy column. You believe that all religions except yours are crazy. I believe that all religions including yours are crazy.
A little writer’s block can be a good thing. Your inner-literary critic’s way of gently letting you know you’re really stinking up the joint. You’re off track. Lost in the weeds. Need to go back and rethink things. Sometimes it’s simply a matter of temporarily writing yourself out. Yesterday’s slow ‘n’ steady 3 hour, 600 word quota turned into a 5 hour, 2,000 word marathon. The tank’s suddenly dry. Take a breather. Let your subconscious work its magic. The words will come.
If you’re a pro-lifer, please remember: if life begins at conception, it sure as hell doesn’t end at birth.
If you need anti-tank guns, bazookas or semi-automatic weapons to defend yourself, it’s time to think about moving to a better neighborhood.