First I went left, he did too. Then I went right, and he did too. Then I went left again, and he went to buy a hot dog.
When I got the red card all the Chelsea players came around. It felt like I had a lot of babies around me.
Come to my house and you’ll see if I’m gay. And bring your sister.
At Barca, players were banned from driving their sports cars to training. I thought this was ridiculous – it was no one’s business what car I drive – so in April, before a match with Almeria, I drove my Ferrari Enzo to work. It caused a scene.
A World Cup without Zlatan is not worth watching.
Come over to my house with your sister, baby, and I’ll show you who’s gay!
That’s how it is with the English: if you score against them you’re a good player; if you don’t, you’re not.
I can play in the 11 positions because a good player can play anywhere on the pitch.
Only God knows you’re talking to him now.
England is a very strong league, with three or four of the best teams in Europe, but, if I had played there, I would have destroyed it, like I have everywhere else.
An injured Zlatan is a pretty serious thing for any team.
PSG’s project is to dream bigger, but if you buy Messi, you don’t dream bigger – you are bigger!
You always need something to complain about. And if you can’t come up with anything better, you come along with team leaders. I don’t believe in this chitchat.
Everyone is equal – a strange Swedish mentality.
It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.
Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.
It is nice when people recognize me and approach me in the street. Anyone who says they don’t like that is lying.
Arsenal could have happened, as everybody knows, but I would not do a trial. Who do you think regrets that more – Arsene Wenger or Zlatan?
I am very proud. It is always fun to win such a prize, to be chosen as Swedens best player a certain year.
One thing is for sure, a World Cup without me is nothing to watch so it is not worthwhile to wait for the World Cup.
I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.