Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
I especially love ‘Web Therapy’ and I did ‘Eastbound and Down’ too. I had a lot of fun doing that.
I guess that’s one of the reasons that you do it – work all the time – because it’s sort of a high to find something that really works.
Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart. It paralyzes my mind. But most of all, I feel very, very alone.
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
We are people with lives, not consumers with lifestyles.
If you can’t be direct, why be?
Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
Even when you win the rat race, you’re still a rat .