Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
And of all glad words of prose or rhyme, The gladdest are Act while there yet is time.
Day after day, night after night, my life at home is far from bright, but even home has more variety, than I can find in cafe society.
Our notion of an optimist is a man who knowing that each year was worse than the preceding, thinks next year will be better. And a pessimist is a man who knows the next year can’t be worse than the last one.
While the work or play is on, it is a lot of fun if while you are doing one you don’t constantly feel that you ought to be doing the other.
There are hundreds who can stand failure to one who can stand success; the good loser is far more common than the good winner.
Conscience: A small, still voice that makes minority reports.
Money isn’t everything, but lack of money isn’t anything.
Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.
Chaos breeds life, while order breeds success.
I hate the pollyanna pest who says that all is for the best.
There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.
The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are purely imaginary.
I am easily influenced. Compared with me a weather vane is Gibraltar.
If a man keeps his trap shut, the world will beat a path to his door.
We deny that it is fun to be saving. It is fun to be prodigal. Go to the butterfly, thou parsimonious sluggard; consider her ways and get wise.
One man’s pointlessness is another’s barbed satire.
Prohibition is an awful flop. We like it. It can’t stop what it’s meant to stop. We like it. It’s left a trail of graft and slime It don’t prohibit worth a dime It’s filled our land with vice and crime, Nevertheless, we’re for it.
Life, lift the full goblet – away with all sorrow – The circle of friendship what freedom would sever? To-day is our own, and a fig for to-morrow – Here’s to the Fourth and our country forever.
Drinking is bad taste but tastes good.