I stretched as those three little words that every girl longs to hear slipped from his mouth with effortless ease. As though they did it every day. As Though they didn’t mean the world to me. With one corner of his mouth tipping sensually, he asked, “Want some coffee?” And I fell. I fell hard.

— Darynda Jones

Darynda Jones Quotes

Jesus may love you, but i’m his favourite.

— Darynda Jones

I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I’m good at multitasking like that.

— Darynda Jones

Okay, I’ll strip. I’ll tap dance. I’ll sing ‘La Cucaracha’ in C minor.

— Darynda Jones

I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me.

— Darynda Jones

I often question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.

— Darynda Jones

You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.

— Darynda Jones

I know how you feel. I’ve been analyzed to death as well. Not, like, professionally, though I did date a psych major who said I had attention issues. Or at least that’s what I think he said. I wasn’t really paying attention. Anyway, where was I?

— Darynda Jones

I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly.

— Darynda Jones

It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.

— Darynda Jones

Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte.

— Darynda Jones

My prodding me didn’t elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He’d seemed so sane huddled in Cookie’s trunk.

— Darynda Jones

I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken. Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.

— Darynda Jones

In Cookie’s defense, it was raining wildcats and rabid dogs.

— Darynda Jones

Who knew Demon Child would have such a normal name? I expected something exotic like Serena or Destiny or the Evil One That Comes in the Night to Make Us Chilly.

— Darynda Jones

What in the name of Zeus’s testicles?

— Darynda Jones

Do not disturb. Already there.

— Darynda Jones

I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds. “Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.

— Darynda Jones

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it’s time, and gets to know everyone personally – T-Shirt.

— Darynda Jones

Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy!

— Darynda Jones

Glitch was about as wild and unpredictable as a carrot stick.

— Darynda Jones
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