I like pens. My writing is so amazing there’s never a need to erase.
I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I’m too classy to bring that up.
I don’t feel I’m even worthy of a normal amount of value.
I don’t know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.
I don’t really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I’d be a contrarian pirate.
I guess there seems to be clubs opening up again, which is strange.
I haven’t done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There’s tons of it, and they’re better paid.
And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy.
I mean, I’ve had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I’ve never even thought about, and they’re right.
If I’m at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts.
Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days.
I will not be misquoted!
I’m particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone.
It’s cool to go to a place that has posters up and it’s one night only. It feels more special.
You come there and hang out and have a drink before the show and eat, so it’s not that brutal. It’s only $6.
I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage.
I mean, I’ve always had scattered interests, but I never went on stage to get an agent or anything like that.
I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be when I started.
Only lately, like within the last few years, have I had people actually do an impression of me to me, which weirds me out to think of what they have picked up on, without ever realizing it myself.
I want to release another CD this year, finish writing a screenplay, and make another short film.
I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there’s not a lot of teaching involved in that.