Recurrent floods of sadness and anger gradually wash away the rubble of the defunct relationship, leaving only the bits of treasure: the remembered moments of real communion, a new understanding of your own mistakes, a clear picture of the dysfunctions you will never tolerate again.

— Martha N. Beck

Martha N. Beck Quotes

Life is full of tough decisions, and nothing makes them easy. But the worst ones are really your personal koans, and tormenting ambivalence is just the sense of satori rising. Try, trust, try, and trust again, and eventually you’ll feel your mind change its focus to a new level of understanding.

— Martha N. Beck

By the end of your incredibly arduous, disappointing, stressful journey, you will be your true self, in a place where you belong, with friends who truly understand you and bring all sorts of opportunities your way.

— Martha N. Beck

Where your attention goes, your life goes.

— Martha N. Beck

Don’t let your life revolve around whatever you’re trying not to do or feel. Live to experience, not to avoid.

— Martha N. Beck

Your individuality is the most valuable thing you have.

— Martha N. Beck

If you’re doing something you love with people you love in a place you love, you are going to create something of value to the world.

— Martha N. Beck

Fear is the raw material from which courage is manufactured. Without it, we wouldn’t even know what it means to be brave.

— Martha N. Beck

Remember, intimacy increases with honesty. Share less to keep people away and more to draw them closer.

— Martha N. Beck

To make an activity joyful, keep adding things until the activity as a whole becomes more appealing than repulsing.

— Martha N. Beck

I fell in love with Africa and began helping people fix things there.

— Martha N. Beck

The position that I take partly as a result of living in Asia is where you stop living according to your expectations and you become available to experience things as they are.

— Martha N. Beck

Bad artists ignore the darkness of human existence. Good artists often get stuck there. Great artists embrace the full catastrophe of our condition and find beyond it an even deeper truth of peace, healing, and redemption.

— Martha N. Beck

Imagine what you’d do if it absolutely didn’t matter what people thought of you. Got it? Good. Never go back.

— Martha N. Beck

Good-looking individuals are treated better than homely ones in virtually every social situation, from dating to trial by jury.

— Martha N. Beck

I majored in Chinese. I was never really good at Chinese but I really, really benefited from having been exposed to Asian philosophy early in my life.

— Martha N. Beck

Menders of all times and places have taught that silencing the thoughts in our heads and opening to the experience of the body and emotions is the basis of all healing. It’s the only means by which we can reclaim our true nature or feel the subtle cues telling us how to find our way through life.

— Martha N. Beck

In fact, when care appears, unconditional love often vanishes.

— Martha N. Beck

Absolutely lonely people have few personal interactions of any kind.

— Martha N. Beck

Friends, there are many areas in which I need encouragement, but worrying is not one of them. I worry the way Renee Fleming sings high Cs: Effortlessly. Loudly. At length.

— Martha N. Beck

Angels come in many shapes and sizes, and most of them are not invisible.

— Martha N. Beck
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