There are very few good judges of humor, and they don’t agree.
There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel.
If the world despises a hypocrite, what must they think of him in heaven?
Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.
If you believe you can do something, then you can acquire the ability to do it even if you didn’t have it in the beginning.
Music wasn’t made to make us wise, but better natured.
Most everyone seems willing to be a fool himself, but he can’t bear to have anyone else one.
The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.
The books are balanced in heaven, not here.
The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.
A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
Everyone who does the best he can is a hero.
As in a game of cards, so in the game of life, we must play what is dealt to us, and the glory consists, not so much in winning as in playing a poor hand well.
I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking, is the one that gets the grease.
There is a significant Latin proverb; to wit: Who will guard the guards?
Don’t ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.
The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.
Experience increases our wisdom but doesn’t reduce our follies.
Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with.
Theory looks well on paper, but does not amount to anything without practice.