I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. I love music because it’s really just – I tried to play piano as a kid. I was awful. It didn’t help, and this is absolutely true, that my piano teacher had arthritis. And that’s not a good way to learn.

— Lewis Black

Lewis Black Quotes

In a series of wonderful essays, Evan Handler gives himself up to us – warts and all. To our amusement and bemusement we share in his emotional growth as he struggles to mature. I not only laughed along with him but felt that I too had grown a little along the way. Who could ask for more?

— Lewis Black

Apparently there is no profit in the unique, or not enough to make it worthwhile to preserve. Ultimately it drains the life out of us, and existentialism starts to make more and more sense.

— Lewis Black

I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape.

— Lewis Black

In Canada I’m not dealing with people who are bringing in baggage, they just get it. But New Orleans will be a bit different. If there’s a group of people who have a right to be bitter, it’s the people of New Orleans.

— Lewis Black

I’m not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I’m not. So it’s hard for me to come up with things, because I don’t write stuff, I don’t write my act down.

— Lewis Black

I can be drunk until 6 in the morning, and then I don’t have to show up to work until 14 hours later.

— Lewis Black

The reason I like socialism is that it’s kind of enforced Christianity. It’s basically very Christian, in the sense of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” These people have nothing, so you have to share.

— Lewis Black

There’s a whole group of Christians who believe the individual is more important, but in the end I don’t think that’s what Christ was talking about.

— Lewis Black

I never write anything down. I write onstage.

— Lewis Black

I’ve always been a social network retard, even before there was a social network. People would say, “You want to go to this party and do some networking?”

— Lewis Black

The tortoise moves very slowly, it moves towards whatever the goal is, to keep a democratic capitalistic society functioning.

— Lewis Black

I had to watch the Republican stuff which makes me feel even older than I am. By the time I get through the Democrats, I may be dead. I don’t know how much older I can get.

— Lewis Black

I had an iPhone and a Droid and both of them were miserable pieces of equipment.

— Lewis Black

I do like Guinness, I have to say, because you feel like you’re eating something.

— Lewis Black

Every other civilized country has determined when life begins and it’s something that eludes us. We’ve got things that have to be done! “We didn’t fix that bridge because you are all down at the meeting house discussing abortion again.”

— Lewis Black

Stupidity really gets me going, when it’s just plain stupid, obvious stupidity. And I think that’s the reason my act has become more political. I’ve become somewhat more of a political comic because the level of stupidity I’ve watched is staggering.

— Lewis Black

I hammer on a theme until I’m tired of it and the audience is tired of it.

— Lewis Black

My hate of Apple has moved into a hate of Facebook.

— Lewis Black

A lot of the times I’m looking at something that I discover is part of a larger framework and not just a couple jokes. I see that it’s a set, a story that I’ll be telling. Sometimes I get lost in that.

— Lewis Black

About Stories

The Droid I had actually seemed to have free will, which I thought was interesting.

— Lewis Black

More Lewis Black Quote >>

Privacy Policy 6.10ms 0.71MB