Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind, But it is very difficult to treat because it cannot even be defined, Because everything is not gold that glisters and everything is not a tear that glistens, And one man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.

— Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash Quotes

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

— Ogden Nash

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here’s a typewriter, here’s a stencil, here’s a list of today’s appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures – take them, George, they’re yours!

— Ogden Nash

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

— Ogden Nash

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

— Ogden Nash

A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books – Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignorant gloomage.

— Ogden Nash
Book

Poets arent very usefulBecause they aren’t consumeful or produceful...

— Ogden Nash

But all ladies think they weigh too much.

— Ogden Nash

Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor.

— Ogden Nash

One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one’s own kin and kith Were more fun to be with.

— Ogden Nash
Fun

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody’s reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

— Ogden Nash

O thrice unhappy home Whose master doesn’t know the difference between a watt and an ohm!

— Ogden Nash

To love is an active verb.

— Ogden Nash

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

— Ogden Nash

But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father.

— Ogden Nash

The old men know when an old man dies.

— Ogden Nash

When a lady’s erotic life is vexed God knows what God is coming next.

— Ogden Nash

Neath tile or thatch That man is rich Who has a scratch For every itch.

— Ogden Nash

One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch.

— Ogden Nash

A cough is something that you yourself cant help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you.

— Ogden Nash

If called by a panther, don’t anther.

— Ogden Nash
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