Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.
You can equate acting to a tennis game: When you’re playing one of the best, you get better.
Donald Trump announces this morning that he will run for president. His hair will announce on Friday.
Excited about Black Friday. Also excited about Jew Tuesday.
My friend Harry Nilsson used to say the definition of an artist was someone who rode way ahead of the herd and was sort of the lookout. Now you don’t have to be that, to be an artist. You can be right smack-dab in the middle of the herd. If you are, you’ll be the richest.
Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn’t cool to say, at a young age, ‘I want to be a comedian.’
When I audition, I understand what it takes and the insecurities that come with it. If I do anything, I put actors at ease. I used to tell directors who weren’t actors, the best thing they could do was take an acting class for a couple of months. Just to understand.
Most entertainment is trying to get you. It’s tested, like toothpaste.
Twitter, to me, works if you’re funny. Twitter doesn’t work as a promotional tool unless you do it very, very, very occasionally.
What’s interesting about books that take place in the future, even twenty years in the future, is that many of them are black or white: It’s either a utopia or it’s misery. The real truth is that there’s going to be both things in any future, just like there is now.
As an actor, if you’re just sitting and staring and you don’t know who you are in your own mind, it’s vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up.
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.
I’d still like to see ‘Survivor’ minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business – I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else’s foot.
I’ve always been in the middle of making my own movies, so taking acting jobs that take me away from that has been impossible.
I’m not interesting enough on my own that you’d want to see a film about me.
If you paint, write, do mosaics, knit – if it’s solving that part of your brain saying, ‘I need to do this,’ you’ve won.
A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!
I’ve seen the future! It’s a bald-headed man from New York!
Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It wont be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.
If anything happens to me, tell every woman I’ve ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they’ll have to reevaluate me.
It’s better to be known by six people for something you’re proud of than to be known by sixty million for something you’re not.