Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks!
I don’t care if I ever work in TV again.
I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.
I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear – I’m not mad at anybody – not anymore.
I’m an introspective dude.
The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.
After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.
I want be a guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
My kids look actually happy. And I learned early on that perfectionism and parenthood is a toxic combination for everybody involved. In other words, so many things can flourish naturally. All you gotta do is make sure the soil’s right. I view myself more like a guide than a ruler.
Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous.
My own life is accessible to people still. I could see a guy walking down the street and, even though I’m famous, I got more in common with this guy than, like, Brad Pitt.
I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.
I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that’s like the God-like part of a person.
I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
A celebrity, whatever I am, you get cut off sometimes from people just by circumstance.
Things like racism are institutionalized. You might not know any bigots. You feel like “well I don’t hate black people so I’m not a racist,” but you benefit from racism. Just by the merit, the color of your skin. The opportunities that you have, you’re privileged in ways that you might not even realize because you haven’t been deprived of certain things. We need to talk about these things in order for them to change.
Sometimes you have to come out like a lion, so that you can be the lamb that you really are.
The bottom line is no matter what happens to you, you got to keep going; and bitterness is quite cumbersome. Jokes is a way of shaking that off, processing something with the alchemy of levity.
Money is the fuel for choices.
To what extent do I have to participate in your self image?