Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.
I’m still a farm boy at heart. If I hadn’t suffered from asthma as a child, I would be a farmer today.
I was in and out of comas until I was nine and I would lose entire days and weeks. The novelty of being able to really do stuff hasn’t worn off – I still feel like I’m making up for lost time.
Readers have told me that their children have learned to read after years of struggle after starting to read Garfield’s comic strip and many people who have moved to the United States have said that they, too, learned English by reading Garfield.
When you’re through with your cat, you can’t throw it in the trash.
The understatement is the English contribution to comedy.
Nothing spoils lunch any quicker than a rogue meatball rampaging through your spaghetti.
Some people are absolutely funny and you want to wish them Happy Thanksgiving in funniest way possible. Here is the list of Funny Thanksgiving sayings. Just chose the quote you want to wish that person. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.
You’d have to go a long way to find someone who was more proud and grateful for what our veterans have done for all of us.
Deep fry that sucker! – Garfield.
I never met a lasagna I didn’t like.
In my head, the sky is blue, the grass is green and cats are orange.
Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you! Garfield: Feed me.
There is never a need to outrun anything you can outwit.
I have a fear of letting my mind wander. I’m afraid it might not come back.
We have a group of people now who think they own the state. Its disgusting.
I thought you were dead, Mr. McCandles.
When all else fails, look cute.
My dream in life is to write the one gag that makes everyone in the world laugh.
I didn’t have a whole lot of success getting dates, I was always a bit of a geek.
It’s not the valleys in life I dread so much as the dips.