I don’t like men who blow-dry their hair. If you are a man and you blow-dry your hair, then I don’t like you and that’s all there is to it.
One Saturday in 1984, I walked into my first AA meeting. I went regularly for six years and only stopped when I came to realize my underlying problem was not genuine alcoholism, but depression.
I was on various anti-depressants, but not for long – I didn’t function very well on them. I felt sort of flattened out.
Maybe I fear things going wrong so much that I pre-empt them by not getting excited about them when they appear to be. going well.
I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.
I love mixing with comedians when I’m working with them, but when I’m not I don’t feel the need to hang around with them.
The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.
The film industry is like Anne Robinsonalways on the look-out for a new face.
Make lots of money. Enjoy the work. Operate within the law. Choose any two of three.
They call it ‘surfing’ the net. It’s not surfing. It’s typing in your bedroom.
Depression is something that has always figured in my life but now I’m dealing with it. I wish I’d done this years ago because it’s been really helpful.
People who are pro smacking children say, ‘It’s the only language they understand.’ You could apply that to tourists.
I’m not really part of any group or clique or gang because that’s always been my nature.
I was so keen to become a comedian that actually doing the comedy itself almost came second.
And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I’m laughing or smiling.
Whenever you’re in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.
My character, Rick Spleen, is a what-if version of me, really, where nothing did quite turn out right and everything else is still around the corner.
In particular, I found praying very disturbing, like swimming with bricks tied to your feet. And yet I was drawn to it constantly.
The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.
If I’ve inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it’s really backfired very badly on me.
In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource.