Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.
There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.
The chief ability of an executive should be his ability to recognize ability.
Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.
Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
Don’t tear your hair out over a woman; it’ll be harder to attract the next one if you’re bald.
The only way to cure an egotist from bragging is by surgery – amputation at the neck.
Common sense is usually lack of imagination, and imagination is usually lack of common sense.
If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.
With a braggart, it’s no sooner done than said.
Only one man has the right to boast, and that’s the man who never does.
Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family.
The trouble with the world is that laziness is seldom curable and never fatal.
You can always make a loan at a bank if you can show sufficient evidence that you don’t need it.
A vacation is like love – anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.
The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.
A bore finds it easy to start talking, and even easier to get others to stop listening.
Ego: The only thing that can keep growing without nourishment.
Hope is tomorrow’s veneer over today’s disappointment.
The Lord takes care of his own, but church trustees still put lightning rods on the steeple.
When laziness attacks a woman, it always avoids her tongue.