If you’re billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it.
People compare me to Angelina Jolie, and she’s so serious and stoic. I’m the opposite.
Try and stay away from dairy – especially if you’re a woman! It’s really hard on your hormones.
I can cook, but I also want everything to look beautiful on the plate – then I get upset when people eat it. Everyone just tears through it, and that makes me sad. It’s not a rewarding experience for me to cook.
In the past, I’ve been reluctant to share any bits of truth about myself or to really let people in on my reality. So I have said some things to throw people off the scent of what’s really going on in my life. So I have sort of aided the media in printing these misconceptions, which I regret.
My biggest regret is that I’ve assisted the media in making me into a cartoon character. I don’t regret what has happened to me, but I regret the way I have dealt with it.
I don’t read my own press, so I don’t know what’s being reported on a daily basis – I only hear about things when they reach a sort of Def-Con status, and my publicist calls me because we have to do some damage control.
I personally always find something really scary about watching little girls learning to manipulate their dads by baby talking. Then they grow up and use the same technique on their boyfriends or husbands. That scares me because it’s just so sick on so many levels.
I don’t want to have people get completely sick of me before I’ve ever even done something legitimate.
I always bring cash for tips, and I never give less than $20. I used to work in a smoothie shop, so I know the value of a tip.
Every time I leave the house or we go anywhere, there is a paranoia. We always have to watch for specific cars and specific signs that we’re being photographed.
I have a lot more fun making comedies because there’s a levity on the set, and I find it difficult to go to work and, you know, cry for 12 hours.
I’ll starve to death before I’ll cook for myself. I think I could survive a week without eating.
You never know when someone is videotaping you or trying to capture your image. I see how it makes some people crazy. But I am really lucky. I don’t understand it. I really, honestly, am much more focused on my personal life.
I’d really like to have a family at some point. Not that I’m not focused on my career – of course I am. And if a great project comes my way, then of course I’ll take it. But I’m not actively out seeking something specific.
There are the people who really, really enjoy being celebrities, and then there are the people who came by it maybe by accident. I’m one of those people who fiercely guards their privacy, so I hate doing interviews.
Almost everything I say, no matter how innocent my intentions are, seems to get sort of manipulated and sensationalized and turned into some ridiculous news story.
I don’t want to open my mouth or speak anymore, because everything I say becomes scandalous. It wears you out.
I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t feel like sharing, then I’m just not going to share. But I’m not going to go out of my way to mislead people or keep them at a distance, because that doesn’t really get me anywhere either.
Having been in a relationship since I was 18, I’m very domestic, but I don’t enjoy cooking for myself. I don’t mind cooking for other people. But I don’t like cleaning or washing dishes, although I don’t mind doing laundry.
Once you let the words go, you have no control over how they’re printed or what the media does with them. So there’s no point in trying to make plans or to control it.