In actual life I am a grumpy old bag.
My daughter couldn’t care less about me being famous. She finds it revolting and, like a lot of teenagers, is virtually allergic to me. That started at 12 and hasn’t gone anywhere yet.
I’ve often said the most difficult things I have to say to people through humour. I can very quickly put someone in their place with it. But we all walk away unscathed because there’s been some funnies around it, and I’ll usually make sure that it comes back at me.
I’m not a big drinking person and hardly ever have alcohol. Perhaps it’s not sweet enough for my sweet tooth.
Why would anyone want to be called a size zero or even aspire to being a zero? I don’t even understand the thinking behind it, let alone the practicalities. What is all that about?
I’ve always loved kissing. We all do, don’t we?
My approach to parenting is that everything is open – everything. I’m not very good at covert, or subtle, and I’ve had to learn timing. I do blunder in a bit.
Theatre outings are my favourite thing to spend money on. The most influential play I saw was Bent, which starred Ian McKellen. And I loved the original performance of The Rocky Horror Show, with Richard OBrien and Tim Curry at the Royal Court, when I was about 15.
I think of myself now as a writer, although I wouldn’t go as far as to say ‘novelist’ because that sounds like a Victorian person.
What was I thinking? Fact is I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want to think. I wanted to feel.
I don’t read novels whilst I’m writing one; I just haven’t got a wide enough brain to concentrate on incoming and outgoing in the same time zone.
I have had the unfortunate experience of having someone write an unauthorised biography of me. Half of it is lies and the other half is badly written. My feeling is that if I’m going to write my life story, I ought to have my life first.
It was my father who taught me to value myself...
My best friend is the most important girl, outside of family, to me. I met her when I went to college and we bonded immediately. I’d do anything for her at any time. We phone each other every day.
Why would I worry about getting older – what’s to moan about?
I watch schlock telly. Like the ‘Kardashians.’ I love it. It’s my guilty pleasure.
Other than my memory being a bit woolly and my knees being a bit creaky, I don’t really think there’s anything I can’t do.
That’s the weird thing about not being married – you can’t get regular kissing; you can’t be guaranteed of it, and that’s a great shame.
I’m known among my friends for saying things I probably shouldn’t sometimes, but I have to get things out in the air.
I want to do something where I play Judi Dench’s younger sister or daughter.
Emos don’t dance much to our music. They actually hate snow patrol and Girls allowed. How could anyone hate them? I haven’t got any punk or metal stuff they would like but actually, when they’d had some cider they were dancing along happily to ‘Mamma Mia’ with us, no probs. Even though they’re Emos, they are still like human.