Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do; for I shall not have my best warrior resigned to the service of a man who is fatter than Buddha and duller than the edge of a learning sword.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

Seth Grahame-Smith Quotes

An accomplished woman is one who has a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing and the modern languages; she must be well trained in the fighting styles of the Kyoto masters and the modern tactics and weaponry of Europe.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

Elizabeth sheathed her sword, knelt behind him, and strangled him to death with his own large bowel.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

The business of Mr. Bennett’s life was to keep his daughters alive. The business of Mrs. Bennett’s was to get them married.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

I would much prefer their minds to be engaged in the deadly arts than clouded with dreams of marriage and fortune, as your own so clearly is!

— Seth Grahame-Smith

Elizabeth lifted her skirt, disregarding modesty, and delivered a swift kick to the creature’s head.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

My sisters and I cannot spend any substantial time searching for Wickham, as we are each commanded by His Majesty to defend Hertfordshire from all enemies until such time as we are dead, rendered lame, or married.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

On the contrary, there is something pleasing about his mouth when he speaks. And there is something of dignity in the way his trousers cling to those most English parts of him.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

This is a most unfortunate affair, and will probably be much talked of. But we must stem the tide of idle chatter, and pour into our wounded bosoms the soothing balm of vengeance.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

Of all the weapons she had commanded, Elizabeth knew the least of love; and of all the weapons in the world, love was the most dangerous.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

I dare say she means to keep you from his attentions. Your honour demands she be slain.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

So long as this country is cursed with slavery, so too will it be cursed with vampires.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

Most men have no purpose but to exist, Abraham; to pass quietly through history as minor characters upon a stage they cannot even see.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

The more precious His gift, the more anxious God for its return.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

I fear that a life of death has made me numb to both.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

I leave you, hoping that the lamp of liberty will burn in your bosoms until there shall no longer be a doubt that all mean are created free and equal.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

I feel rather like a rabbit that has taken a fox for its pupil.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

The bottom half of the page had descended into a doodle of a tiny man giving the middle finger to a giant, angry eagle with razor-sharp talons. Beneath it, the caption: To Mock a Killing Bird.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

It was a sort of peace I have rarely enjoyed since. As if we were the only two souls on earth – all of nature ours to enjoy. I wondered why a creator who had dreamt such beauty would have slandered it with such evil. Such grief. Why He had not been content to leave it unspoilt. I still wonder.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

The true roll in determing to embrace or reject anything is not whether it have any evil in it but whether it have more of evil than of good. There are few things wholly evil or wholly good.

— Seth Grahame-Smith

I know of nobody that is coming, I am sure, unless Charlotte Lucas should happen to call in- and I am sure my dinners are good enough for her, since she is an unmarried woman of seven-and-twenty, and as such should expect little more than a crust of bread washed down with a cup of loneliness.

— Seth Grahame-Smith
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