You’ll be perfect when you’re dead.
I wish people used wishes to modify themselves instead of others. Wish to be low maintenance. Wish to be autonomous, even.
I always try to use my medium, and if I get into a normal sitcom-writing contest with normal sitcom writers, I’m going to lose.
You don’t give someone notes on their performance at a soup kitchen.
Everyone knows that there are more people watching any given show than is being registered by the Nielsen system.
The public’s perception of your show is what it is, and you don’t get to complain how people perceive your show or talk about it.
Television is a populous, derivative, democratic medium.
There’s the same percentage of genius happening in both genders, but there’s less women writing scripts and out there looking for the job.
If your ratings are high and there’s money being made, you’re allowed to be a perfectionist in television.
I feel like I am a good person and a professional, very able leader of men.
It was never my direct intention to do anything particularly medium-defying.
I am a collaborator with everyone who agrees that I need to be in control. I happily collaborate with my loyalists.
The concept of doing holiday episodes is a huge part of what’s fantastic about doing TV. And viewers agree; you see the numbers going up for holiday episodes.
If somebody’s cat happens to turn on the TV, my numbers can double. It’s almost unrelated to what’s really happening.
Audiences, as they get smaller, can intensify their relationship with the product, and so can the creative relationship with the people that you are serving. The good news is that, the more shows there are, the less the conglomerates have to gain by breaking the will of each individual creative.
I was playing the game where I was going to be a great TV or film writer some day and there was nothing else that I thought about, including other people.
Always hedge your bets. That’s how I do it. I lay all my bets on what I can contribute, and suffer no illusions that I’m generating stuff by myself.
With an animated show you can make a banana purple. You can put three hats on a cowboy. That would require several days of stitching, in live-action, that you wouldn’t be able to afford. I mean, you can just do tons and tons and tons.
I think thoughts in my head bounce around in my skull and, if they keep bouncing around in my skull, they get worse and worse. When they come out of my mouth, they make people happy.
I’d just love to sit at home, wake up at 10AM, go to my own office with my dog, and write a movie. I don’t know if I’m capable of doing that though. I think I’ll just end up playing Minecraft and self-destructing.
When you are in the 8 o’clock position, you can either be a cultural phenomenon, or you’re endangered. It’s a tough time slot.