My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It’s just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Don’t get somewhere as fast as possible. Get somewhere as good as possible.
Despair is the fuel of terrorism, and hope is the fuel of civilization, so we have to put more hope into the world than despair. Hatred and separation and building walls is not the way to progress. Going backward is not the way to go forward.
I realized that belief is a key ingredient in trying to do things that are difficult.
If there is a god they need to come down to Earth and explain WWII, Hitler, bowel cancer, and Croc shoes.
Stamina is the big thing you have to learn if you want to achieve success in any kind of career, but especially creative careers.
I’ve just come to the conclusion that all women should wear whatever they want to wear and that all men should wear whatever they want to wear. If they have a problem with that, they should take it up with United Nations.
No one ever says, “This piece of creative work is crap, but they made it in a couple of weeks, so let’s go and check it out.
If you think you can’t do a thing, you will not be able to do it. If you think you can do something, then you have a chance of achieving it. Believing doesn’t mean you will instantly be able to, but you’ve got to believe that you can, otherwise you definitely won’t be able to do it. I’ve seen a number of people who I thought could do something brilliant and creative but they didn’t seem to believe in themselves and therefore didn’t, or couldn’t, do it.
Very advanced fashion almost joins up with having no fashion sense at all.
The word itself – dyslexia – is ironically very hard for dyslexic people to spell correctly.
We need to become more open minded to the idea that many of us exist on a spectrum – a continuum – of gender. That for some of us the choice isn’t just one or the other – completely male or completely female – but often a combination of both. In fact, it seems there are three different lines on the sexuality spectrum: how you self identify, who you’re attracted to, and what you look like. And it seems the dial can be at any place on any of those three lines.
It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized you could buy a packet of cereal with a free gift and then just stick your hand in and root around in the packet until you found the free thing. It seems a much simpler way. But that took me about fifteen years to work out.
And there is a rule in every major religion, called the Golden Rule. Essentially: treat other people the way you’d like to be treated yourself. If we all did this, the whole world would work instantaneously. Praying, meditation – fine. But just follow the Golden Rule and the whole world works. Making the world work could be that simple.
The twenty-first century is a key century for us on this planet. Either we make a world, where all seven billion people have a fair chance in this century – or forget it. If we can’t do this, I don’t think we are going to make it as a species. Despair is the fuel of terrorism, and hope is the fuel of civilization, so we have to put more hope into the world than despair. Hatred and separation and building walls is not the way to progress. Going backward is not the way to go forward.
Real life is actually a lot of boring things with occasional spikes of interest. Eddie Izzard.
But stinging nettles: They just love existing, don’t they? They’re bastards. Stinging nettles are the Nazis of the weed world.
I think this should be called non-victim behavior. A surprise offer of bright cheeriness and self-confidence on people who were probably about to say negative things to you, in order to make you a non-victim and just a member of society.
I’ll just borrow confidence from a future version of myself.
Could adults actually deal with a weird monster under their bed? I think if the monster started moving around, then- well we’d get out of bed and we’d get a frying pan, and then we’d beat the crap out of the monster under the bed. Or we’d get a broom and poke the monster out. No, we’d lock the door and set fire to the house.