The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
Hollywood is ten million dollars worth of intricate and high ingenious machinery functioning elaborately to put skin on baloney.
Musicals are to the theater what wines are to a substantial dinner.
The dramatic critic who is without prejudice is on the plane with the general who does not believe in taking human life.
The bachelors admired freedom is often a yoke, for the freer a man is to himself the greater slave he often is to the whims of others.
It is the mark of a superior person that, left to themselves they are able endlessly to amuse, interest and entertain themselves out of their personal stock of meditations, ideas, criticisms, memories, philosophy, humor and what not.
The triumph of sugar over diabetes.
Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work inthe brewery.
All that is necessary to raise imbecility into what the mob regards as profundity is to lift it off the floor and put it on a platform.
A man may be said to love most truly that woman in whose company he can feel drowsy in comfort.
Great drama is the souvenir of the adventure of a master among the pieces of his own soul.
I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost.
Drama – what literature does at night.
There is no legimate actor who can resist the powerful lure of the movies. It isn’t the money that fetches him. It isn’t the great publicity. It is simply this: the movies enable an actor to look at himself.
An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.
Like everybody else, when I don’t know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds.
The most loyal and faithful woman indulges her imagination in a hypothetical liaison whenever she dons a new street frock for the first time.
It may be said that artist and censor differ in this wise: that the first is a decent mind in an indecent body and that the second is an indecent mind in a decent body.
Shaw writes plays for the ages, the ages between five and twelve.
One does not go to the theater to see life and nature; one goes to see the particular way in which life and nature happen to look to a cultivated, imaginative and entertaining man who happens, in turn, to be a playwright.
All one has to do to gather a large crowd in New York is to stand on the curb a few minutes and gaze intently at the sky.