I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.
The film The Last Temptation of Christ, no matter what its defenders say, was a slap in the face to Christians everywhere.
When I open a refrigerator door and the light goes on, I want to perform.
There were times when I was broke, when I was down in Florida and I had to go to cocktail parties for 500 bucks – to see the guy that used to be in pictures. I’m not ashamed of that. I’ve never done anything that I was ashamed of. I’ve done a lot of things I didn’t mean to do.
Meadowlark Lemon is one very clever man, unique and truly one of a kind.
Women liked me because I made them laugh.
Someone once asked me what I want on my epitaph when I pass away. Just the words ‘I tried.’ That’s what this game of life is all about. Trying. There’s the tryers, the criers, and the liars.
On Hollywood turning its back on him: I wasn’t in the club. You see, I’m not going to be a stroker. I never have been all my life.
My marriage license reads, ‘To whom it may concern,’
Hey kids! Let’s put on a show!
I’ve been coming back like a rubber ball for years.
I’m 74 but I feel like I’m 35. And it isn’t work. You know what it is? It’s fun, absolute fun. I don’t know many people who are fortunate enough to be in a business like that.
And that’s the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.
I just want to be a professional. I couldn’t live without acting.
I’ve been short all my life. And if anyone wonders what my dying wish will be, they can stop wondering. That will be easy. I’ll just tell them, ‘I’ll have a short bier.’
John Frances, Entertainment Chair, of the Friars Club: Of all the roasts that I have produced for the Friars Club, this is the one that I am most excited about. Mickey is one of the Club’s dearest friends, and we wanted to honor him in the way we know best.
Now. Now is the most important time of all of your young lives. And what does now stand for – N-O-W? No Other Way. That’s the only time – NOW!
I belong to the public. The public made me. The public can break me. I owe them my life.
Life is an infiltration course. We all try and get through it. We all try and get through it unscathed – maybe not hurt, not bruised. No bones broken, maybe a few hearts here and there.
Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.
I don’t pick the roles. Your agent gets a call for you and you go and they all get together, everybody has fun at the reading, and they say, “There’s chemistry here.” So that’s how it happens.