A joke is a very serious thing.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.
We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.
Logic is a poor guide compared with custom.
I’d rather spend half an hour in the company of a top carpenter, than three hours in the company of an average brain surgeon.
There is scarcely anything more important in the government of men than the exact – I will ever say pedantic – observance of the regular forms by which the guilt or innocence of accused persons is determined.
Oh, what is the matter with poor Puggy-Wug? Pet him and kiss him and give him a hug. Run and fetch him a suitable drug. Wrap him up tenderly all in a rug. That is the way to cure Puggy-Wug.
We are all functioning at a small fraction of our capacity.
All the great things are simple.
I have never promised anything but blood, tears, toil and sweat. Now, however we have a new experience. We have a victory – a remarkable and definite victory. The bright gleam has caught the helmets of our soldiers and warmed and cheered all our hearts.
No more let us alter or falter or palter. From Malta to Yalta, and Yalta to Malta.
If I were the first of May, I should be ashamed of myself.
If we could get out of this jam by giving up Malta and Gibraltar and some African colonies I would jump at it. But the only safe way is to convince Hitler that he cannot beat us.
If this long island story of ours is to end at last, let it end only when each one of us lies, choking in his own blood upon the ground.
I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
When the war of the giants is over the wars of the pygmies will begin.
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
The worst mistake that a statesman can make is to promise victory and to see it dashed, the hopes dashed.
We shall never surrender.