I’m a creature of routine, and I hate feeling incompetent, so I avoided novelty and challenge. Making an effort to push myself in that way has brought me surprising boost.
A feeling of control is a very important aspect of happiness. People who feel in control of their lives, which is powerfully bolstered by feeling in control of time, are more likely to feel happy.
If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.
By doing a little bit each day you can get a lot accomplished.
Just taking one drifting step can you set you in a course that’s very hard to stop.
I’ve learned to put great store in my own observations of everyday life, because while laboratory experiments are one way to study human nature, they aren’t the only way.
When I think of myself in the third person, many things become clearer.
If I had to describe myself using only one word it would be “doesn’t follow directions.
The harder the push, the greater the Rebel push-back. I laughed when a Rebel friend told me, ‘No one can tell me to do anything. I recently got an email saying “Please read” in the subject line, and I immediately deleted it.
The conduct of our lives is the true reflection of our thoughts. – Michel de Montaigne, “Of the Education of Children.
Rebels often seek out careers that give them the flexibility to choose their work, set their own schedules, and avoid having to answer to other people.
When we consider our own Tendency, we can create circumstances and messages that will work best for us, and when we consider other people’s Tendencies, we can create circumstances and messages that will work best for them.
You’re not happy unless you think you’re happy.
One of my Secrets of Adulthood is that we’re more like other people than we suppose and less like other people than we suppose.
Feeling right” is about living the life that’s right for you – in occupation, location, marital status, and so on. It’s also about virtue: doing your duty, living up to the expectations you set for yourself. For some people, “feeling right” can also include less elevated considerations: achieving a certain job status or material standard of living.
Being taken for granted is an unpleasant but sincere form of praise.
By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished. We tend to overestimate how much we can accomplish in an hour or a week and underestimate how much we can accomplish in a month or a year, by doing just a little bit each day.
When money or health is a problem, you think of little else; when it’s not a problem, you don’t think much about it. Both money and health contribute to happiness mostly in negative; the lack of them brings much more unhappiness than possessing them brings happiness.
Every time you break the law you pay, and every time you obey the law you pay.” Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels, we all must grapple with the consequences of our Tendency – with its strengths and its weaknesses, its foibles and its frustrations.
Something that can be done at any time is often done at no time. Do it now, or decide when you’ll do it.
What we assume will be temporary often becomes permanent; what we assume is permanent often proves temporary.