Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Social change involves helping people see new options for making life wonderful that are less costly to get needs met.
Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.
We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.
Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind.
When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you’ve first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.
Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.
Keep in mind that other people’s actions can never ‘make’ you feel any certain way. Feelings are your warning indicators.
NVC shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, insults, or putdowns, and without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.
The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.
Make your goal to attend to your underlying needs and to aim for a resolution so satisfying that everyone involved has their needs met also.
With empathy we don’t direct, we follow. Don’t just do something, be there.
To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.
When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs.
NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
However impressed we may be with NVC concepts, it is only through practice and application that our lives are transformed.
I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.
It’s really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life.