Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Funny how we take it for granted that we know all there is to know about another person, just because we see them frequently or because of some strong emotional tie.
I think perhaps all of us go a little crazy at times.
Forget the past, let the dead bury the dead. Things were working out fine, and that was the only thing he had to remember.
I’VE never seen such a look of mortal agony on a human face before. She screamed quite a bit before she died, and the last shriek was forever frozen on her face.
Nobody would be quite as surprised as my wife, when I killed her.
Horror is the removal of masks.
A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.
So I had this problem – work or starve. So I thought I’d combine the two and decided to become a writer.
So much for modern science and its wonderful discoveries that just about everything can kill you. Life is only a bedtime story before a long, long sleep.
Norman Bates heard the noise and a shock went through him.
We’re all not quite as sane as we pretend to be.
Mothers sometimes are overly possessive, but not all children allow themselves to be possessed.
People hear that I am a horror writer and they think that I must be a monster, but actually I have the heart of a small child – I keep it in a jar on my desk.
I haven’t had this much fun since the rats ate my baby sister.
That’s the way girls were – they always laughed. Because they were bitches.
Magic – that’s just a label, you know. Completely meaningless. It wasn’t so very long ago that people were saying that electricity was magic.