Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall.
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don’t want to bully people, and I don’t want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
I just like to write and then perform.
I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot.
I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.