It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.
If I believe I need something I don’t have I’m insane.
Nothing external can disturb us. We suffer only when we want things to be different from what they are.
Whatever happens is the best thing that could happen.
Whatever you get is what you need.
If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work.
The basic realization that other people can’t possibly be your problem, that it’s your thoughts about them that are the problem – this realization is huge. This one insight will shake your whole world, from top to bottom.
The irony is that the struggle to win love and approval makes it very difficult to experience them. Chronic.
When I listened within myself I saw that the world is what it is – nothing more, nothing less. Where reality is concerned, there is no “what should be.” There is only what is, just the way it is, right now. The truth is prior to every story. And every story, prior to investigation, prevents us from seeing what’s true.
Atheist, agnostic, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, pagan – we all have one thing in common: we want happiness and peace.
We don’t hear what someone said; we imagine what they meant.
When you’re seeking love and approval, many thoughts are aimed at deciphering the behavior of the people you care about, or theorizing about what’s going on in their minds.
The most powerful spiritual practice is to hang out with the people who criticize you. You don’t even have to do that physically, since they live right here in your head.
Flirtation, seduction, falling in love, and the whole romantic realm take place in a dreamy, trancelike state, alternating between hope and fear. One minute you think you may be rejected; the next minute you’re excited about succeeding.
Every no I say is a yes to myself. It feels right to me. People don’t have to guess what I want or don’t want, and I don’t need to pretend. When you’re honest about your yeses and noes, it’s easy to live a kind life. People come and go in my life when I tell the truth, and they would come and go if I didn’t tell the truth. I have nothing to gain one way, and everything to gain the other way. I don’t leave myself guessing or guilty.
I wasn’t always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn’t so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we’re all doing the best we can.
That’s like saying, “May my will be done, not God’s will,” rather than realizing, deeply, that God’s will is your will at every moment. It’s trying to get what you want, rather than wanting what you have, which is the only way you can ever be happy.
Seeking comfort, you give yourself discomfort.
Heaven: “This is wonderful. I could stay here forever.” Hell: “This is not quite perfect.
What is an example that will prove that you aren’t lovable? Rejection? If someone rejects you – and he could only do that because you don’t match his beliefs about how he wants the world to be – it has nothing to do with you. Only an inflated ego could say that it had anything to do with you.
No one outside me can hurt me. That’s not a possibility. It’s only when I believe a story that I get hurt.