I always had a weak chin because we couldn’t afford to correct my bite, which could have been corrected with braces. So the chin was always weak. And I always was – kind of hated my profile. And I thought wouldn’t it be nice someday to feel the rain on your chin without having to look up.

— Carol Burnett

Carol Burnett Quotes

It costs a lot to sue a magazine, and it’s too bad that we don’t have a system where the losing team has to pay the winning team’s lawyers.

— Carol Burnett

It’s almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

— Carol Burnett

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

— Carol Burnett

Well, I don’t know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.

— Carol Burnett

My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a million miles away from Hollywood, if you know what I mean. We would hang out behind the ropes and look at the movie stars arriving at the premieres.

— Carol Burnett

In ’57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.

— Carol Burnett

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn’t have the protection that a newspaper has.

— Carol Burnett

People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.

— Carol Burnett

What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don’t think I could write a novel. I don’t think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters.

— Carol Burnett

I’ve always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.

— Carol Burnett

What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you.

— Carol Burnett

I love to write. I have always loved writing. That was my first love.

— Carol Burnett

Firsts

I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis.

— Carol Burnett

I always felt that I was more of an actress than a – I can’t tell a joke to save my soul, but that I was a comedic actress.

— Carol Burnett

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don’t nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

— Carol Burnett

When someone who is known for being comedic does something straight, it’s always “a big breakthrough” or a “radical departure.” Why is is no one ever says that if a straight actor does comedy? Are they presuming comedy is easier?

— Carol Burnett

I have a great memory.

— Carol Burnett

I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.

— Carol Burnett

I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

— Carol Burnett

I don’t eat much meat, fish, or poultry.

— Carol Burnett

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