Ninety-seven minutes ago,” replied Copperfield. “Killed two male nurses and his doctor with his bare hands. The other three orderlies who accompanied him are critical in the hospital.” “Critical?” “Yes. Don’t like the food, beds uncomfortable, waiting lists too long – usual crap. Other than that they’re fine.

— Jasper Fforde

Jasper Fforde Quotes

All those words,′ she whispered, ’so diligently placed together, and so pointlessly torn apart.

— Jasper Fforde

If you look into someone else’s dreams, all you ever find are nightmares.

— Jasper Fforde

The most favorite boy’s name is James; the least favorite is Gzxkls.

— Jasper Fforde

It’s important to collect evidence,’ she said, ’even if disproved. That’s how science works. Being proved wrong and then advancing. If I’m proved wrong a lot, I must be making headway, right?

— Jasper Fforde

Tangling with the Goliath Corporation generally left you in one of two places: inside a wooden box with a grieving family outside, or inside a wooden box under six foot of soil with family wondering where you were. The former was if they didn’t hold a grudge.

— Jasper Fforde

There were seven thermonuclear devices?” queried Parks, who had latched on to Jack’s outlandish explanation without too much difficulty, as should you.

— Jasper Fforde

There was a picture of Don Hector on the wall and next to the television was a phonograph with a large collection of cylinders. I looked through them. They were a mixture of old favourites – Dark Side of the Moon, Rumours, Ziggy Stardust – mixed with jazz and a little Puccini.

— Jasper Fforde

I am boring, but I’m ok with it. I’m the anchor, the shoulder... I’m an average man... with a truly extraordinary wife.

— Jasper Fforde

The people to listen to are the ones who don’t say very much.

— Jasper Fforde

Somebody once said that the library is actually the dominant life form on the planet. Humans simply exist as the reproductive means to achieve more libraries.

— Jasper Fforde

She and I had not exchanged an intelligent word since we first met five hours before, and the reason was readily explained: Mrs Tiffen was dead, and had been for several years.

— Jasper Fforde

You’ll also be pleased to know that no resident has been eaten in their sleep here for almost thirty-seven years.

— Jasper Fforde

In order to fail, first you have to try.

— Jasper Fforde

It was loopholery at its very best.

— Jasper Fforde

The dismantling of S0-27 had some peculiar and unforeseen consequences, not least the legalizing of lethal force within libraries “for the maintenance of the collections and public order.” Originally intended as a deterrent to thieves, the legislation quickly became known as the “Shush Law,” when overenthusiastic librarians invoked a “violent intervention” for loud talking. Libraries have never been quieter, and theft and vandalism dropped by 72 percent.

— Jasper Fforde

Much that we had appreciated about one another had been left unsaid. In humor, in life and in love, we had understood.

— Jasper Fforde

You’re not any of those. But I can’t figure out if you’re a clever person pretending to be thick, a thick person pretending to be clever, or just a chancer stumbling through the Winter without any sort of plan or thought at all.

— Jasper Fforde

You’ll know the beginning easily enough; it’s when it all started going weird.

— Jasper Fforde

That’s the point about failure,” I said. “It’s an intrinsic part of success. You win some, then you lose some. But with experience and luck, you learn to lose less as the years go on.

— Jasper Fforde

Oh, hullo, Worthing,’ he said in a cheery manner. ‘How are things?’ ‘Outlook stormy with a chance of scattered death moving in randomly from all points of the compass.

— Jasper Fforde
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