Just because of an unusual genetic abnormality, Hollywood thinks it can portray us as dysfunctional social pariahs. Ask yourself this: Have you ever been, or know anyone who has ever been, a victim of albino crime?” The protest follows hot on the heels of last week’s demonstrations when Colombians and men with ponytails complained of being unrelentingly portrayed as drug dealers. – Extract from The Mole, July 31, 2003.

— Jasper Fforde

Jasper Fforde Quotes

All those words,′ she whispered, ’so diligently placed together, and so pointlessly torn apart.

— Jasper Fforde

If you look into someone else’s dreams, all you ever find are nightmares.

— Jasper Fforde

The most favorite boy’s name is James; the least favorite is Gzxkls.

— Jasper Fforde

It’s important to collect evidence,’ she said, ’even if disproved. That’s how science works. Being proved wrong and then advancing. If I’m proved wrong a lot, I must be making headway, right?

— Jasper Fforde

Tangling with the Goliath Corporation generally left you in one of two places: inside a wooden box with a grieving family outside, or inside a wooden box under six foot of soil with family wondering where you were. The former was if they didn’t hold a grudge.

— Jasper Fforde

There were seven thermonuclear devices?” queried Parks, who had latched on to Jack’s outlandish explanation without too much difficulty, as should you.

— Jasper Fforde

There was a picture of Don Hector on the wall and next to the television was a phonograph with a large collection of cylinders. I looked through them. They were a mixture of old favourites – Dark Side of the Moon, Rumours, Ziggy Stardust – mixed with jazz and a little Puccini.

— Jasper Fforde

I am boring, but I’m ok with it. I’m the anchor, the shoulder... I’m an average man... with a truly extraordinary wife.

— Jasper Fforde

The people to listen to are the ones who don’t say very much.

— Jasper Fforde

Somebody once said that the library is actually the dominant life form on the planet. Humans simply exist as the reproductive means to achieve more libraries.

— Jasper Fforde

She and I had not exchanged an intelligent word since we first met five hours before, and the reason was readily explained: Mrs Tiffen was dead, and had been for several years.

— Jasper Fforde

You’ll also be pleased to know that no resident has been eaten in their sleep here for almost thirty-seven years.

— Jasper Fforde

In order to fail, first you have to try.

— Jasper Fforde

It was loopholery at its very best.

— Jasper Fforde

The dismantling of S0-27 had some peculiar and unforeseen consequences, not least the legalizing of lethal force within libraries “for the maintenance of the collections and public order.” Originally intended as a deterrent to thieves, the legislation quickly became known as the “Shush Law,” when overenthusiastic librarians invoked a “violent intervention” for loud talking. Libraries have never been quieter, and theft and vandalism dropped by 72 percent.

— Jasper Fforde

Much that we had appreciated about one another had been left unsaid. In humor, in life and in love, we had understood.

— Jasper Fforde

You’re not any of those. But I can’t figure out if you’re a clever person pretending to be thick, a thick person pretending to be clever, or just a chancer stumbling through the Winter without any sort of plan or thought at all.

— Jasper Fforde

You’ll know the beginning easily enough; it’s when it all started going weird.

— Jasper Fforde

That’s the point about failure,” I said. “It’s an intrinsic part of success. You win some, then you lose some. But with experience and luck, you learn to lose less as the years go on.

— Jasper Fforde

Oh, hullo, Worthing,’ he said in a cheery manner. ‘How are things?’ ‘Outlook stormy with a chance of scattered death moving in randomly from all points of the compass.

— Jasper Fforde
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