Sometimes, the things we do to protect ourselves turn on us and hurt us. They become self-destructive. Many codependents are barely surviving, and most aren’t getting their needs met. As counselor Scott Egleston says, codependency is a way of getting needs met that doesn’t get needs met. We’ve been doing the wrong things for the right reasons.

— Melody Beattie

Melody Beattie Quotes

Here’s another quirk some of us have. We’re able to demonstrate a lot of compassion for other people. We can understand why they did the things they did. But when we look in that mirror, we can’t seem to muster up any compassion, forgiveness, or understanding for ourselves.

— Melody Beattie

Free others to be who they are. In so doing, you will set yourself free.

— Melody Beattie

Our feelings don’t need to control us. Just because we’re angry, we don’t have to scream and hit. Just because we’re sad or depressed, we don’t have to lie in bed all day. Just because we’re scared, doesn’t mean we don’t apply for that job. I.

— Melody Beattie

Cherish the hope that lies beneath the snow.

— Melody Beattie

The spiritual space we’re trying to find and maintain in meditation practice is the sacred place in each of us.

— Melody Beattie

Detachment involves “present moment living” – living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it.

— Melody Beattie

We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.

— Melody Beattie

We don’t have to be so afraid of people. They are just people like us.

— Melody Beattie

It is time to stop this nonsense of running around picking on ourselves.

— Melody Beattie

When will I learn to quit fighting lions?

— Melody Beattie

We don’t learn about taking care of ourselves the way we learn math. Although information is useful and sometimes critical, self-care isn’t only an intellectual process. It’s our experiences that change us.

— Melody Beattie

Some people strive to relinquish all expectations and live moment to moment. That is admirable. But I think the important idea here is to take responsibility for our expectations. Get them out into the light. Examine them. Talk about them. If they involve other people, talk to the people involved. Find out if they have similar expectations. See if they’re realistic.

— Melody Beattie

Here’s an interesting phenomenon about gratitude: it’s difficult to feel too bad when we’re feeling grateful. Your mind has room for only one thought at a time. If you fill it with gratitude, there isn’t room for negativity.

— Melody Beattie

Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.

— Melody Beattie

Learn the words: “This is what I need from you. This is what I want from you.

— Melody Beattie

An unexamined life isn’t worth living, or so they say. The problem with living up to other people’s expectations too much is that it doesn’t leave us time to have a life. Take a moment. Ask yourself this question, and don’t be afraid to look deeply: Are you allowing someone else’s expectations to control your life? Examine the expectations you’re living up to; then live by your own inner guide.

— Melody Beattie

LOW SELF-WORTH Codependents.

— Melody Beattie

All our experiences are rich colors that make a full life.

— Melody Beattie

To believe in people, to believe in each person’s inherent ability to think, feel, solve problems, and take care of themselves is a great gift we can give and receive from others.

— Melody Beattie

When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled. We forfeit our power to think, feel, and act in accordance with our best interests. We frequently lose control of ourselves. Often, we are being controlled not just by people but by diseases such as alcoholism, eating disorders, and compulsive gambling.

— Melody Beattie
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