BALLOT, n. A simple device by which a majority proves to a minority the folly of resistance. Many worthy persons of imperfect thinking apparatus believe that majorities govern through some inherent right; and minorities submit, not because they must, but because they ought.

— Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce Quotes

ABSENCE, n. That which “makes the heart grow fonder” – of absence. Absence of mind is the cerebral condition essential to success in popular preaching. It is sometimes termed lack of sense.

— Ambrose Bierce

He dug his fingers into the sand, threw it over himself in handfuls and audibly blessed it. It looked like diamonds, rubies, emeralds; he could not think of nothing beautiful which it did not resemble.

— Ambrose Bierce

Good stranger,” I continued, “I am ill and lost. Direct me, I beseech you, to Carcosa.

— Ambrose Bierce

When the man was dead an examination disclosed the unmistakable marks of an animal’s fangs deeply sunken into the jugular vein. But there was no animal.

— Ambrose Bierce

AUTHENTIC, adj. Indubitably true – in somebody’s opinion.

— Ambrose Bierce

Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.

— Ambrose Bierce

At about this time something occurred which caused my cup of joy, already full, to overflow on all sides, a circular cataract of bliss.

— Ambrose Bierce

Some deep disappointment in early life had soured its disposition, and it had declared war upon the whole world.

— Ambrose Bierce

This irrascible and implacable brute – this incarnate thunderbolt – this monster of the upper deep, I had seen reposing in the shade of an adjacent tree, dreaming dreams of conquest and glory.

— Ambrose Bierce

Like a plant that has struck its root into some poisonous mineral, my poor uncle was dying slowly upward.

— Ambrose Bierce

The fever of battle burned hot in its heart; its brain was intoxicated with the wine of strife.

— Ambrose Bierce

When Death comes cloaked in mystery, he is terrible indeed.

— Ambrose Bierce

It fought, like the angels and devils, in mid-air, cleaving the atmosphere like a bird, describing a parabolic curve and descending upon its victim at just the exact angle of incidence to make the most of its velocity and weight.

— Ambrose Bierce

WEATHER, n. The climate of the hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly concerned.

— Ambrose Bierce

MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. One of the most practical exponents of the Malthusian idea was Herod of Judea, though all the famous soldiers have been of the same way of thinking.

— Ambrose Bierce

WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, “the wrath of God,” “the day of wrath,” etc. Amongst the ancients the wrath of kings was deemed sacred, for it could usually command the agency of some god for its fit manifestation, as could also that of a priest.

— Ambrose Bierce

LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits.

— Ambrose Bierce

MISFORTUNE, n. The kind of fortune that never misses.

— Ambrose Bierce

ABASEMENT, n. A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth or power. Peculiarly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer.

— Ambrose Bierce

PIETY, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man.

— Ambrose Bierce
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