And when I see Ky again, which I know will happen, I will whisper the words I have written in his ear, against his lips. And they will change from ash and nothing into flesh and blood.
And it is strange that absence can feel like presence. A missing so complete that if it were to go away, I would turn around, stunned, to see that the room is empty after all, when before it at least had something, if not him.
If I can’t pull myself together soon he’ll know somethings wrong. We know each other too well.
Watching Ky wake is better than a sunrise.
Ky’s story, bit by bit, is turning to ash and nothing. Except. He remembers it, and now I do, too.
Ky smiles then, a smile I’ve never seen before. It’s the kind of daring, reckless smile that could make people follow him straight into a firing, a flood.
I don’t fool myself that I hold her together-she does that on her own-but holding her keeps me from flying apart.
I believe, sometimes in spite of myself, in grace and better things to come and a time when we will all be whole.
Knowledge doesn’t fail us.
You are strong enough to go without.
I don’t trust the Society, and I don’t trust the rebelions, I don’t choose either of them, I’ve seen what both can do.
My fingers smell like soil and my lips taste like sugar and I’m so awake right now I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
For a moment on the top of that bare pain of rock I wonder if I should run behind or ahead-which is the best way to protect her-and then I find us just running side by side.
Porque al final no siempre puedes elegir que conservar. Solo puedes elegir como lo dejas ir.
She’s right. We would compose poems about love and tell stories that have been heard in some form before. But it would be our first time feeling and telling.
People fall in love’, I say, my voice hoarse. ‘It happens.
I think of how many invisible injuries are possible. Ones scored on your heart, your brain, your bones. How do we all stand? I wonder. What is is that keeps us moving?
Parents are always giving things that are not taken.
Tell me a little every day and I’ll remember it for you. Then there will be two of us who know.
When it rains, I remember.