The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.
My attraction had been immediate and profound. And it had nothing to do with the way he looked. My attraction was to what resided between his lines.
I thought, I can’t do advertising any more, so I was downloading all these PDF applications from community colleges. And I thought, I’ll become a paramedic. I’ll get a two-year associate degree, if I can get in.
Stars should not be seen alone. That’s why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One person alone will surely miss the good ones.
I saw a monkey walking on a leash and thought it was an ugly foreign child.
My mistake was in underestimating the emotional force of a song you have already hear a thousand times.
With my own memoirs, they are truthful, and I write everything fully expecting to some day end up televised on Court TV, and I’m fully prepared to be challenged legally on it. Everything I write is the truth and I know that I would win.
I loved most when his eyelashes twitched and he blinked, and suddenly happiness was there inside his eyes. Unmistakable. Like a single word printed on a clean white page.
I never could have written the screenplay because I would have been forced to learn new software and I can’t learn one more thing.
I missed him so much that I had physical sensations of loss, all over my body. Like one minute I was missing an arm, the next my spleen. It was making me feel sick, like throwing up.
I remember, no matter how impossible it seemed that any given day would end, it always did. This one would, too.
Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.
I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.
Nobody’s trying to kill you, Deirdre. You’re killing yourself.
Red hair is great. It’s rare, and therefore superior.
My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron.
Life would be fabric-softener, tuna-salad-on-white, PTA-meeting normal.
I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes.
I suppose home is, for me, more of a state of mind. It’s really more of about being where I want to be with people I care about.
Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.