Courage is a value. My faith is the organizing principle in my life and what underpins my faith is courage and love, and so I have to be in the arena if I’m going to live in alignment with my values.
I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.
We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
Shame derives its power from being unspeakable.
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.
Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging have the courage to be imperfect.
Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.
Then I tell my own story. The two things that people really need to transform is language to understand their experience and to know they’re not alone. It’s the combination of the researcher-storyteller part.
Here’s what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now, not if, not when, we’re worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.
If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive.
We don’t have to be perfect, just engaged and committed to aligning values with actions.
I wasn’t really testing it on myself as much as I was learning from other people about what it meant to live and love with your whole heart, and then thinking, oh my god, I’m not doing that.
We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.
You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you can’t have both.
For me, the opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It’s enough. I’m enough. My kids are enough.
You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.
Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.
There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period.