In the end, everything is a gag.
I am for people. I can’t help it.
Greed has poisoned men’s souls, has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed.
By simple common sense I don’t believe in God, in none.
The mirror is my best friend because when I cry it never laughs.
Brunettes are troublemakers. They’re worse than the Jews.
One murder makes a villain. Millions a hero.
Over the years I have discovered that ideas come through an intense desire for them; continually desiring, the mind becomes a watchtower on the lookout for incidents that may excite the imagination.
Man is an animal with primary instincts of survival. Consequently his ingenuity has developed first and his soul afterwards. The progress of science is far ahead of man’s ethical behavior.
Through humour, we see in what seems rational, the irrational; in what seems important, the unimportant.
Why not? After all, it belongs to him.
Greed has poisoned men’s souls.
In this desperate way, I started many a comedy.
From such trivia, I believe my soul was born.
I am known in parts of the world by people who have never heard of Jesus Christ.
What a sad business is being funny!
When we got off the streetcar at Times Square, it was somewhat of a letdown. Newspapers were blowing about the road and pavement, and Broadway looked seedy, like a slovenly woman just out of bed.
I do not need drugs to be a genius, do not take a genius to be human, but I need your smile to be happy.
Simplicity of approach is always best.
In this book I do not intend to give a blow-by-blow description of a sex bout: I find them inartistic, clinical and unpoetic. The circumstances that lead up to sex I find more interesting.